Indie Music Snob Name Drops Top 10 Indie-Music-Snob-Name-Drops
In Other News : Uroboros Clones Self, Eats Clone

In Jonah Bayer’s eye-opening entree into the mind of a music snob, he picked out 10 albums that all (repeat : ALL) indie record store clerks name check.

After reading the piece, I immediately wanted to know more about the man who created such a populist musical stepping stone for the lesser-informed. I wanted to know how he came to single out these 10 records from the scores of albums created solely to provide music snobs and indie bloggers material to pontificate on.

In his emailed response, he graciously provided me his reasoning for each selection. Here’s his email:

Wish I’d Thought Of That, (Part 94!)

I will admit that every blue moon Dreighton Pickner sees an inspired idea out there in adland that makes me stop, smack myself on the head and say “Jeez Louise, Ol’ Boy! You shoulda thought of that one!” The NOID from Dominos Pizza? What a fantastic character! (Notice how part of his name is derived from “Annoyed” but they never say so? Genius!) Or how about that campaign for Six Flags with the dancing old man who gets everybody to go ride the teacups?

The Daily Mail has a comprehensive write-up on exactly how the production team pulled off a realistic gorilla playing along to the music and grooving for Cadbury.

The video website, featuring Phil Collins’ In The Air Tonight, has been a big success for Cadbury, their ad agency Fallon, and even Collins himself (his 1981 song was re-released and entered the Top 20 again).

I’m going to string you along for one more month before releasing the followup to my “10 Biggest Misconceptions About The Advertising Business.”

Okay, truth is I finished it almost a week ago but my trusty blueberry iMac is having some problems turning Floppy Discs into Fubar Discs! I’ve got my guy Juarez down at Kinko’s working on saving that disc though. It’s good to know someone in the technology sector! In the meantime, enjoy this piping hot bit of Dreighton Picknerian wisdom :

I Heard It On The Radio

Love it or hate it, radio is not going anywhere and I still firmly believe the real test of a writer, an agency, whoever… is their ability to transform a car stereo into a theater of the mind.

Sure, TV is “the way” and lots of buzz is afoot about whether or not the whole internet thing is going to catch on, but to this advertising professional I still say “let’s hear it on the air!” Here’s a few pointers for you fellow ad writers out there reading who want to hone your chops that I’ve picked up along the way.

Compelling Hook!

First off, you need a compelling hook. Something that’ll grab you right from the proverbial “get-go.” Think of a big announcement, like “Big News!” or “This Weekend Only!” that will catch the listener’s ear. After all, when you’re sandwiched between a drivetime dj and the latest Third Eye Blind single, you’re going to need something with IMPACT.

Don’t Sell… Yet!

Once you’ve got their attention you’d think it’s time to get right in there with the sell. Don’t fall into that trap, that’s what they’re expecting! You need to “keep them on the leash” as I’ve been known to say. (I picked that one up from my wife’s divorce attorney, HA!) Get ‘em more interested. Think of asking your listener questions that make them really relate from their own life, like “How would it feel to be able to have more money for things like a cruise or a new deck?” Certainly everyone can! So you don’t want to give away the solution just yet.

Message!

Then it’s really time to hit them with the message. The Big Idea. The life-changing, how-did-I-ever-live-without-this-knowledge moment. What you do to really push this over is let the guys in the recording booth work their magic. They have all sorts of tapes and cd’s of really incredible sound effects and music that’ll make your point be heard loud and clear! Also, they can do really incredible things with echoes and special effects on the VO guys – not just the usual “Alvin and The Chipmunks” stuff but really crazy tricks that can make someone sound like they’re in a church or the Grand Canyon! My guy at StarTrax Music has always been like my ‘Fifth Beatle’ when it comes to doing really outside the box radio.

Jingle!

And never underestimate the power of a good jingle. You don’t hear as many these days, which is too bad, because it can really help relax and make your listeners enjoy what you’re telling them. I mean hey, I can tell you that Bill Black Dodge is having a 4th Of July sale, but if I wrap it up in a patriotic anthem written just for the client, well, that translates to one thing, dear readers, and that one thing is SALES.

Name and Number! Again!

One last thing. Keep that name and phone number on the script as much as you can. I know it can sound kind of silly to hear 1-800 BLA BLAH 5 times in a row, but believe you me, this is the time to grind it in.

And on that note, time for Dreighton here to sign off. Donny’s finally taking my advice and joined a youth soccer league. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he finds out Ol’ Dad’s not just some nerdy ad guy with a one-bedroom, but that he can hang with the jocks just like his mom’s new special friend! [dp]

Bill Wyman absolutely nails it with his Moby Quotient – The Art of Selling Out.

Using the criteria Disconnect, Sacredness, Origins, Reputation, Wealth and Time he offers a definitive formula for determining if an artist has, indeed, sold out.

Of course, I still maintain :

It’s easy to say you’ll never sell out when no one’s making any offers.

And we’re on record with an opinion of Moby’s recent offerings.

Full story at the Washington Post. Thanks, Hypebot. [dh]

In our short time on the interweb, we’ve managed to draw a pretty large and frequent readership to this blog. We post interesting stories, people read them and, I imagine, are filled with such mirth they roll around on the floor of their offices and marvel at the wonderousness that is Burst. Yet the comments fields remain conspicuously silent.

Perhaps you are loathe to sully the beauty of our posts, or perhaps you have no fingers, surfing the web via voice-recognition software, and the process of posting a comment is just too arduous and time-consuming a task to complete on your lunch break. Whatever the case, I feel as if I’ve failed our readers by not giving them material worthy of debate.

On that note:

Beck is over-rated.

Spring is WAY better than fall.

The Green Bay Packers are the greatest football franchise. Ever.

Christian Bale is the best Batman.

Elvis < The Rolling Stones < The Beatles
Wilco will never be as great as any of them.

The Milwaukee Brewers will win the Central Division.

That shirt makes you look fat.

CDs are dead.

JR didn’t do it.

OJ did it.

We have never had a man on the moon.

In a fight to the death between James Blunt and Daniel Powter, the winner is all of us.

Chicken is better than beef.

Concert tickets aren’t too expensive, you’re just not going to the right concerts.

Burst Labs is the best production music house that ever existed.

Comment, or the midget gets it. [ms]

The Top Ten Myths About the Advertising Industry, Part I

10. The Best Idea Sells – Whoo, boy, is that a farce! I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I watched bona fide Dreighton Ingenuity™ die on the vine! Back when YourLogoHere! was pitching for the Areola’s Cantina account (they were a local TexMex joint that were closed down due some Cucarachas) it was between my line “Everybody Say Olé For Areola’s!” and some fresh-off-the-turnip-truck junior copywriter’s “¡Hola Areola!” I watched in horror as they went with that stupid “Hola” line. If they knew it was written by some little strumpet trying to ride on her foo-foo ivy league education, maybe they’d think it through a little more and have gone with the professional’s opinion. But hey, what do I know, right?

09. The Pay Is Great – Maybe for some of those stuffed shirt executives who struck gold with some clever pitch back in the late 80’s (who are yet to see lightning strike a second time.) But for the rest of us, it’s not that great. Before the divorce I was just barely struggling to make the payments on a little 2 bed/1 ba in Des Plaines, what with the kids needing braces and all that high-falootin’ Old Navy clothing that Mom just had to have for them! (I kept trying to tell her that Kohl’s was just fine, but would she listen? Ask my divorce attorney! Wait, don’t ask him – I still owe him three grand!) The point is, you can work your fingers to the bone and maybe get a little $2,000 raise once in a while, even though they promoted that “¡Hola, Areola!” blondie to Associate Creative Director.

08. We “Party All The Time” – Now, I’m not saying we didn’t “boogie down” once in a while at YourLogoHere! – there were a couple of Margarita Fridays where we got into the hard stuff! But the rest of the time it’s like any other job out there. You’re in the door at 8:55 and working away until long after the work whistle blows a lot of the time. Those real estate circulars do not write themselves, folks! Sure, we may be able to wear jeans on Fridays if there aren’t clients coming in and I know more than a few “Senior” type people who’ll wear running shoes or sandals, but if you’re picturing a place with people in shorts and t-shirts throwing pencils at the ceiling tiles, you couldn’t be more wrong. Of course, my entire “inside the game” career was at YourLogoHere!, maybe other agencies are different.

07. Anything Goes! – I know what you’re thinking. You’ve seen some of the crazy ads on TV or heard something on the radio and probably believe that any old crazy idea can sell. And maybe on some of those big money TV campaigns, they do. But advertising isn’t just the glitz and the glamour of doing ads for Burger King and MasterCard! The day-to-day stuff has you “workin’ for the man” and that man is telling you that when Carl’s Pool Emporium wants you to change “Save Big” to “Super Huge Big Savings!” – that you’re going to fire up the old word processor program and do just that. Just because the guys from Toyota can do a whole TV ad that rips off my favorite A-Ha video, doesn’t mean the client projects us mortals get to work on can do the same.

06. “You’re Only As Good As Your Last Campaign.” – Well if that were true I wouldn’t have made it for the last three years at my old gig. Prior to my mutual decision with YLH! management to move onto new horizons, I had hit a bit of a dry spell. It happens to the best of us, even Dreighton Pickner! For those three years the pressures at home were mounting and I couldn’t sell water to a fish. Worse yet, I was even starting to believe the things my ex-wife was telling me about “not being cut out for that line of work” and “being a completely unoriginal, creatively void automaton who’d best serve the professional corridor in the food services division.” But I kept my head up and if you choose this line of work, so too should you. You want your kids to be proud of you don’t you? That next great spark of inspiration could be right around the corner!

Keep it locked here for next month’s installment when I reveal the final five! And a big thanks to Daniel Holter at Burst Labs for hosting this little blogworld of mine. See, networking DOES work! Did you get my resumé, Dan-O? [dp]

Jay Smooth over at Illdoctrine.com talks about the real loser in the Kanye West/50 Cent showdown this week (Psst… I’ll give you a hint… it’s not Kanye or 50) :

Unfortunately, Kanye sold 437,000 of “Graduation” on day one, with 50 selling 310,000 of “Curtis.” Looks like the industry might be back hittin’ the pipe by this weekend.

Quick side note – Jay’s video blogs are always entertaining, do yourself a favor and sign up for his RSS feed. [ms]

There’s a fun article at Earvolution on the best fictional bands of all time.

Even though we’re big Spinal Tap fans, we’ll admit we’re pretty stoked about who beat them out for the number one spot on the list :

[dh]

Introducing The Savior Of the Music Industry :
The Ringle?!

guest commentary by Nick Pipitone

It seems like every headline you read these days concerning the RIAA involves them disapproving of something. But here’s something they finally approve of: The Ringle.

No, it’s not a new snack food. The Ringle is a new fangled CD offering from Sony BMG Music Entertainment and Universal Music. It’s a CD single that includes a hit, an a remix, an older cut and a ringtone of the hit. It also includes a wallpaper of artist-related artwork. They’re coming out in October/November and will retail for about 5.98, which is $5.98 more than most people want to spend on a hit song.

Nevertheless the recording industry crawls forward, packaging the hits with extras to get customers back into the retail environment and buying — and not downloading.

But here’s what they’re missing: Downloading music is now a cemented part of the music world that isn’t going away. And when you download something, here’s a news flash: it’s already on your computer. Betcha can’t wait to get that ringle home only to have to transfer the ringle contents to your computer and cell phone.

And speaking of cell phone ringtones, I don’t need the industry to give me one. My phone, the Sony W600i, utilizes any MP3 I want and turns it into a ringtone for me (sorry iphone users).

I suppose it will be interesting to see what kind of remixes they come up with but my guess is it won’t be worth the money, considering a typical download is only 99 cents. The RIAA and the labels must know by now: The past is nowhere to live. [np]