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Jonah Bayer speaks the truth about music snobs
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Indie Music Snob Name Drops Top 10 Indie-Music-Snob-Name-Drops
In Other News : Uroboros Clones Self, Eats Clone
In Jonah Bayer’s eye-opening entree into the mind of a music snob, he picked out 10 albums that all (repeat : ALL) indie record store clerks name check.
After reading the piece, I immediately wanted to know more about the man who created such a populist musical stepping stone for the lesser-informed. I wanted to know how he came to single out these 10 records from the scores of albums created solely to provide music snobs and indie bloggers material to pontificate on.
In his emailed response, he graciously provided me his reasoning for each selection. Here’s his email:
Hey Matt, thanks for asking!
Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band : Trout Mask Replica
I remembered in High Fidelity when that nerdy guy asked for Beefheart’s “Safe As Milk” (which is obviously a made up album title). So when I went to the Captain Beefheart Wikipedia page, it said that “Trout Mask Replica” was their most popular. Music snobs probably love it when normal people don’t like how weird the album title is.Bob Dylan : Blonde on Blonde
That part in High Fidelity where Jack Black’s character said to the guy “Don’t tell me you don’t own ‘Blonde on Blonde’… that’s insane!” He cracks me up. Did you see Shallow Hal?Fugazi : Repeater
I read in Michael Azerrad’s book “Our Band Could Be Your Life” that this was Fugazi’s best album. I figured anyone who knows that much about Nirvana probably knows what he’s talking about. Oh, and I got that part about Rites of Spring from the book, too. (Between you and me, I’d never even heard of them).The Mars Volta : Amputechture
Did you notice how I put quotes around the word “songs”? That because I don’t think they’re very good songs. My brother likes these guys, and I basically just wanted to piss him off, so that’s why I included them in the list.Wilco : Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
My girlfriend saw this documentary about Wilco and this album. I think it was out a couple of years ago. Anyway, she told me about the story and I figured that record store clerks would love that sort of thing. Plus, she broke up with me like 2 weeks later.Aesop Rock : Labor Days
I think I’m most proud of this one. See, I do this thing sometimes when I write where I try to rhapsodize grandly about things I know very little about. Hell, not only did I use the word “ilk,” I also singled out an indie record as “raising the bar of hip-hop forever.” I hope people get the joke, I wouldn’t want them to think I’m a pompous dick.The Moldy Peaches : The Moldy Peaches
Wasn’t Juno soooo good? I totally didn’t even know a lot of those songs were by Kimya Dawson until I read the credits at the end. I didn’t think they were very good, they kept distracting me from the witty musings of that precious little pregnant girl. I think people just say they like the Moldy Peaches because their friend in New York does. Plus, that name is kinda gross.Belle and Sebastian : The Boy With The Arab Strap
Two Juno references in one post! That’s totally gonna bump up my Google page rank. A lot of people don’t know that you can learn all there is to know about good ol’ fashioned music snobbery by watching High Fidelity and Juno (although, I really didn’t think it was believable that a teenager had heard of the Ramones). Belle and Sebastian were in both movies, so you know right away that a lot of music snobs like them.Cat Power : Moon Pix
I have to be honest with you. I really didn’t research this article very well at all. By this point I was just flipping through old issues of Rolling Stone. I think this one was in the same issue as Counting Crow’s “Across A Wire”. They gave it more stars than Adam Duritz and Co., and Rolling Stone usually hits the nail right on the head with that kind of stuff.Pavement : Slanted and Enchanted
There was this guy in high school named Tanner that would always talk about Pavement. He would say how great they were and how they didn’t care about how they sounded. I though Tanner was so awesome, but we lost touch after graduation. Tanner - if you read this, give me a call. I still live with my parents, so the number’s the same.Look, man, now that the whole Alternative Press thing is over, I kinda gotta take what I can get. Gibson called me, and my rent was due. Luckily, music snobs don’t play any instruments, they just fawn over those that do, so I doubt any of them will see it at the Gibson website anyway.
Oh, and check out my website, Writer For Hire.
Thanks for the letter,
Jonah
Best of luck, Jonah. [ms]
Emon says:
2/1/2008 -All the letter needed to say was, ‘Dude, High Fidelity and Juno, maan!’ It’s a Twitter world.
Emon says:
2/1/2008 -Oops…I meant ‘email’ not ‘letter.’ Sometimes the 80s catch up.
Sarah says:
2/5/2008 -Jonah rules! I read his cover story in Alternative Press about Paramore, and it rocked!
matt @ burst says:
2/5/2008 -Big-up to Jonah’s sister for wandering into our cozy little corner of the internets.
Feel free to invite big bro.
daniel @ burst says:
2/7/2008 -Awwww, Matt, you have a new friend… Jonah!
“However, one guy clearly doesn’t like it: you can read his hilarious parody of my piece [HERE]. Then again, I guess I’d be pretty bitter if I ran a vanity label comprised of artists that provide the background music for Gatorade commercials and America’s Funniest Home Video montages, too. Feel free to leave a comment just like my newfound sister ‘Sarah’ did. Hey, sis!”
daniel @ burst says:
2/7/2008 -btw, way to do your research, Mr. Bayer… see a label connected to Burst and assume it’s those artists providing “background music” for commercials.
In reality, we take money made creating commercial music and turn it around to make records we’re proud of, for good people who are struggling to make their voice heard. The label doesn’t have much, if anything, to do with our commercial enterprise - it certainly doesn’t add anything to our bottom line! Heh.
Not that you’re reading this far, or interested in actual discourse or conversation… but that’s so like a music critic and music snob : lob petty insults from afar and revel in the ripples they create.
Enjoy ‘em while they last… apparently it’s the only thing you actually contribute to the world of music.
matt @ burst says:
2/8/2008 -Jonah,
How can you honestly expect to be taken seriously when you write a poorly-researched mercenary article about music snobs that makes you out to be a bigger snob than the targets you attack.
If it was meant to be serious, those journalism classes at NYU were a waste of money.
If it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek piece of parody, well, then, FAIL.
matt @ burst says:
2/8/2008 -And damn right, I’m trying to bait you into responding. Take some responsibility for your work.
KY says:
2/8/2008 -I love everyone
tbozz says:
2/8/2008 -Jonah says:
2/8/2008 -Hey guys,
I absolutely take responsibility for my work. Unfortunately I have actual assignments to work on and don’t have the time to comprehensively research your entire web site.
That said, maybe you guys should do YOUR research. Although you insist that “I’ve never made any contribution to music,” a simple google search proves that I spent four years in a touring band; I’ve never taken a journalism class at NYU; and, while we’re at it, sorry, but completely mocking an article that I wrote doesn’t really give me that you’re open to any type of “discourse.”
That said, if you’re really looking to follow-up on this, my email address is posted above. I’d love to hear from you.
Best (really),
JB
matt @ burst says:
2/11/2008 -Fair Enough.
I feel like maybe I took this post in the wrong direction by confusing the craftsman with the craft.
It has become more “Jonah is an ill-mannered idiot”, when what it was meant to be was “Jonah wrote an ill-mannered and idiotic article.”
I don’t know Jonah, he’s probably a nice enough guy, but that doesn’t change the fact that the reaction to his article has been almost unequivocally negative. Granted, a lot of the negativity is the usual message board-driven hatred that prevails everywhere, but among the rest, the general consensus is that you just can’t boil snobbery down to a top ten list. Music snobs live to pick apart what someone else likes.
Perhaps that was the point of Jonah’s article, and if so, kudos, joke’s on us. I still maintain it was a “last page of the notebook” idea that took to task people that care enough about music to give a shit whether it’s good or not, of which I’m sure Jonah is one. It came off as elitist and stand-offish. Don’t shit where you sleep, Jonah.
jesse says:
2/13/2008 -this blog’s author is clearly and simply much more of a snob than anyone he might be attacking as he calls others snobs.
why on earth would you expend your time and energy to attack someone for stating an opinion on a subject that is so blatantly subjective (it’s rhetorical hence the lack of a question mark). This guy even says it’s subjective himself while he’s busy being hypocritical and, dare I say, annoying.
and, oddly enough, my journalism courses weren’t at NYU, but even if they were (they were at a better University, actually) I’d still recognize how shallow and wasteful the remarks of the blog author (Matt) are.
wow…
~!jesatiu
matt @ burst says:
2/13/2008 -To call anything a waste of time in this computer age is the essence of redundancy. Of course it’s a waste of time and energy! Take a hard look at how we function relative to our computers-
Do I really NEED to check 20+ websites every morning and periodically throughout the day? Do I NEED to catalog a random thought on Twitter? Do I NEED to respond to an article I find particularly offensive?
Of course not. But I like to, I enjoy it. I’m adding content to a content machine, that’s all any of us are doing when we comment on a blog post, or add a photo on Flickr. If you want to claim to be above it, fine, but then why bother adding even more content to this blog post?
It’s my time to waste, and your choice as to how you waste yours.
matt @ burst says:
2/13/2008 -It’s all just noise anyway.