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The Top Ten Myths About the Advertising Industry, Part I

10. The Best Idea Sells – Whoo, boy, is that a farce! I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I watched bona fide Dreighton Ingenuity™ die on the vine! Back when YourLogoHere! was pitching for the Areola’s Cantina account (they were a local TexMex joint that were closed down due some Cucarachas) it was between my line “Everybody Say Olé For Areola’s!” and some fresh-off-the-turnip-truck junior copywriter’s “¡Hola Areola!” I watched in horror as they went with that stupid “Hola” line. If they knew it was written by some little strumpet trying to ride on her foo-foo ivy league education, maybe they’d think it through a little more and have gone with the professional’s opinion. But hey, what do I know, right?

09. The Pay Is Great - Maybe for some of those stuffed shirt executives who struck gold with some clever pitch back in the late 80’s (who are yet to see lightning strike a second time.) But for the rest of us, it’s not that great. Before the divorce I was just barely struggling to make the payments on a little 2 bed/1 ba in Des Plaines, what with the kids needing braces and all that high-falootin’ Old Navy clothing that Mom just had to have for them! (I kept trying to tell her that Kohl’s was just fine, but would she listen? Ask my divorce attorney! Wait, don’t ask him – I still owe him three grand!) The point is, you can work your fingers to the bone and maybe get a little $2,000 raise once in a while, even though they promoted that “¡Hola, Areola!” blondie to Associate Creative Director.

08. We “Party All The Time” – Now, I’m not saying we didn’t “boogie down” once in a while at YourLogoHere! – there were a couple of Margarita Fridays where we got into the hard stuff! But the rest of the time it’s like any other job out there. You’re in the door at 8:55 and working away until long after the work whistle blows a lot of the time. Those real estate circulars do not write themselves, folks! Sure, we may be able to wear jeans on Fridays if there aren’t clients coming in and I know more than a few “Senior” type people who’ll wear running shoes or sandals, but if you’re picturing a place with people in shorts and t-shirts throwing pencils at the ceiling tiles, you couldn’t be more wrong. Of course, my entire “inside the game” career was at YourLogoHere!, maybe other agencies are different.

07. Anything Goes! – I know what you’re thinking. You’ve seen some of the crazy ads on TV or heard something on the radio and probably believe that any old crazy idea can sell. And maybe on some of those big money TV campaigns, they do. But advertising isn’t just the glitz and the glamour of doing ads for Burger King and MasterCard! The day-to-day stuff has you “workin’ for the man” and that man is telling you that when Carl’s Pool Emporium wants you to change “Save Big” to “Super Huge Big Savings!” – that you’re going to fire up the old word processor program and do just that. Just because the guys from Toyota can do a whole TV ad that rips off my favorite A-Ha video, doesn’t mean the client projects us mortals get to work on can do the same.

06. “You’re Only As Good As Your Last Campaign.” – Well if that were true I wouldn’t have made it for the last three years at my old gig. Prior to my mutual decision with YLH! management to move onto new horizons, I had hit a bit of a dry spell. It happens to the best of us, even Dreighton Pickner! For those three years the pressures at home were mounting and I couldn’t sell water to a fish. Worse yet, I was even starting to believe the things my ex-wife was telling me about “not being cut out for that line of work” and “being a completely unoriginal, creatively void automaton who’d best serve the professional corridor in the food services division.” But I kept my head up and if you choose this line of work, so too should you. You want your kids to be proud of you don’t you? That next great spark of inspiration could be right around the corner!

Keep it locked here for next month’s installment when I reveal the final five! And a big thanks to Daniel Holter at Burst Labs for hosting this little blogworld of mine. See, networking DOES work! Did you get my resumé, Dan-O? [dp]